3 Life Lessons Learned From The Most Horrific Boss Ever
What felt like a nightmare was actually blessing in disguise.
It was my second week on the new job.
I was laid off from my very first job after college three months before, so I was grateful to have a new job.
But I had a funny feeling about the hiring manager, Paula.
Something was just off. I couldn’t explain it.
But I needed the job, so I took it.
She called me into the office and showed me a data entry mistake I made.
Then she let me have it.
“I’m worried about you…cause you’re making careless mistakes!”
Her giant fist slammed the desk as she yelled.
It was like talking to an ogre.
I went home, called my dad, and cried.
“I don’t think I’m going to make it!”
I was anxious.
I thought I was going to lose my job again.
But believe it or not, I stayed in that team for over a year.
Was it worth it?
Let me tell you about the lessons I learned.
Lesson 1: Pain is a powerful motivator
After talking to my dad, I calmed down and went back to work.
Paula’s micromanaging and overall displeasure of my work kept going on.
It was awful but not as bad as the fear of being unemployed again.
I still have nightmares from working in that environment.
But I used the money I earned from working to figure out my next steps.
I brought books and courses to improve my skills and knowledge.
I knew this job was just temporary; I was determined to get out of my situation.
The year prior, I was very happy-go-lucky, and I didn’t have any ambitions.
But after experiencing Paula, I knew I would do anything I can to improve my life.
Lesson 2: It’s not you; it’s them
I thought it was all my fault.
I thought I was just bad at my job.
But after talking to my co-workers and peers, I found out some important facts:
- My boss almost lost her job before I joined the team because a former employee royally screwed up.
- Her bosses yelled at her, just like she yelled at me.
- One of my co-workers had been telling my boss, “I wasn’t a team player.”
Wow.
I admit I made mistakes, but nothing serious enough for getting yelled over.
But it explained why she was so dramatic when I made simple mistakes.
And why she would send me emails like “Please respond to the below communication” so she could show that I had read her email.
Who talks like that?
The lesson I learned here was the importance of the environment.
I’ve been in a new job every year since I graduated from college in 2010, and I’ve seen how important culture really is.
It’s not about ping pong tables and lunch and learns; if you don’t have a safe relationship with your boss, forget it.
It’s a fight you can’t win.
Even after going to Human Resources, I couldn’t get my boss to stop harassing me.
It’s why Andrew Henderson from The Nomad Capitalist says, “Go where you’re treated best.”
Side Note
Some people might not believe me when I say it’s not you; it’s them.
A lot of us take extreme ownership without realizing it.
And it wasn’t until I got help through psychotherapy that I realized how I was taking the blame for things that weren’t my fault.
It wasn’t my fault that my boss chose to use fear tactics to manage me.
And I’m willing to bet you’re blaming yourself for things that you can’t control.
How people choose to treat others — that’s on them.
Lesson 3: Money Isn’t Everything
I wish I had learned this sooner.
I took that job because I needed the money.
I stayed in that job because I needed the money.
And I’ve dramatically improved my ability to get higher paying job offers now.
(I’m getting approached for jobs paying six-figures now.)
But I left all that to teach English overseas.
Sure, I get paid less.
A lot less.
But I also work much less.
And I’m much happier.
I was afraid of losing my job.
I was stressed about money.
I had to deal with someone who said things like “There’s no arguing with what I say.”
But now?
I’m doing much better.
I’m happier making less money than working for an evil boss for more money.
More money isn’t worth the nightmares still have from that horrible boss.
Conclusion
I hated working for Paula.
But I’m grateful for the lessons I learned when I learned them.
I could’ve ended up like her.
People who work hard, are miserable and are unappreciated.
Being a boss is a thankless job.
And working in a toxic environment?
It’s up to you, but I prefer working to live, not living to work.
That’s why I left the 9–5 and became an English teacher.
I’d rather go where I’m treated best.
